tedium

my life's become a schedule and i'm not satisfied with that. hopefully, with spring break knocking at the door, i'll have a chance to make a change and enjoy my days. i've been going to school full time and working 31+ hours, which makes my work status full time also. it's like sometimes i don't know how to function because there aren't enough hours in the day for me to get everything done; and i have to get at least five or six hours of sleep (with a 15 or 20 minute nap every now and then during the day). then again, i would rather be hella busy than hella bored. there are all of these books i want to read, cds i want to listen to, poems i want to write, but the reality of it is i just don't have time to do any of that; and i'm not complaining because even though i enjoy free time, bills keep calling my name. so many things in life come and go, but bills will always be faithful! won't leave you alone for shit!

but i'll take this break time and fully accept it. i think it's a little early for spring break but maybe the ever-knowing power knew that i needed some time to pull it all together, some time to enjoy myself, and my life. time for some excitement. i wonder what i'll be able to scratch out on the agenda first?!

much love
gregory

black woman blue

i went home yesterday and saw a book that my roommate was reading entitled black woman blue and i was inspired to write something by it. hence, the poem:

black woman blue

she sat there
tears rolling down her face
erasing
all of the misery
that she had encountered.
she was speechless-
nowhere to turn to,
no one to run to-
alone.
an ant in a world
full of lions.
she had been trampled upon.
her house had been shattered-
torn down,
in spite of all the work she had done
to put it together.
she was the queen,
ruler of all
at one point and time.
but now winter had come along-
was looking like the coldest winter ever;
like things just weren't
going to get any better.
and i sat there-
staring at her
while we rode the city bus together.
rosa parks-
she favored her.
had some of her same expressions:
exhausted
from what she had experienced,
determined
to ride away from her old life.
she had nothing
no baggage.
definitely not a "bag lady".
had heard songs
from Ms. Badu, I see.
and now everything
was homemade for her
because she was
starting from scratch,
trying to pull things together
in hopes that they
would turn out right.
her last recipe
was a sour one-
not so good;
a bloody steak
that was supposed to be well-done.
hence, she rode this bus.
she wiped her face,
wiped the tears away-
the raindrops that were cleansing her soul.
she tried to keep her composure.
whatever happened to her
had to be terrible.
she kept wiping her tears away,
wiping the raindrops away.
i smiled at her,
letting her know i felt her pain.
and then the thunderstorm began
again.

a thug in my eye

my mom saw me yesterday and said i looked like a thug to her, so i began to wonder how people viewed me today. i had on a XL southpole shirt, some pure white dickies and some black air force ones. was playing around with some words- came up with this piece:


his shirt was so big
maybe an XL when what
he really needed was a medium.
those pants hung to the ground
like a sweater
on a weak wire hanger
in the summer time-
untouched
not really in place,
and his car was clean
BOOM-BOOM-BOOM
his radio blasted.
the bass surrounded me-
felt like I lived in the subwoofer
in the trunk of his car;
like the old lady in the shoe.
his shoes were jet black-
the color of rubber tires
when armor all is applied to them-
clean,
the first thing others noticed.
and his jewelry- so simple yet so elegant;
an old horse with a new saddle.
not too much.
just enough to let you know
that he enjoyed looking good,
enjoyed the eyes that peered at him
from across the parking lot.
a thug in my eye.
his style, his swagger, his confidence-
untouchable;
like he had something nobody else did.
were my eyes deceiving me?
he carried a Bible.
where did this come from
i wonder
a thug in my eye-
or maybe not.
educated black man?
looking good,
well groomed,
confident,
knowing where his life is headed;
deciphered those things
that were once hieroglyphics
and used them-
applied them to everyday life.
an exception to the stereotype,
exception- this type.
got way more than i bargained for-
thought i had a good deal.
F . E . A . R
false expectations apparing real.
i was fooled.
i was wrong.
i know better.
i know him now.
i know his intentions.
i see his motives.
i see his mother.
i see his brothers.
i like this guy.
i love this guy.
i AM this guy.

a thug in my eye

school daze

was at school all day today. yep, from 9:30 until 5:30 and they say that school is not a full time job- ya shittin' me! but it was all good. me and nikki were working on the englishear all day long and of course you know everyone still haven't turned in their revisions yet which almost made nikki piss on somebody's or a couple of people's egos today. it's all good though. it's coming together, and i'm anxious to see the end result.

went to the delta gent pageant meeting and got two of my friends talking again (i won't call their names but it was cool; it was something like a reunion). just kicking it like we used to do in the old days.

was watching american idol and was blown away by paris! i think that she's gonna win but then again i was wrong last year so i won't jinx her or anything like that. i still have all of this work to do and i'm anxiously awaiting for spring break to arrive, which is next week. that's what i don't get; it's still winter and we're taking "spring" break? wtf? i need a break from the monotany. it's way past due!

can't wait for t.i's new cd to drop next month. we were jamming to "what you know" at the club saturday. it's been a good month like i knew it would be. the month designated to me and my people- black history month. and then i just found out that somebody was shooting at the club on saturday and what's so bad is i was there and didn't even know. i was sleep in the back seat of my homeboy's ride though so unless somebody would have rammed into us i would have never known what the hell was going on!

i made it to the english club meeting late today and for some reason i was just pissed at the whole world. i really don't know what came over me, but i really could care less. not a rude guy but i don't really get stuck in moments like that. life's too short. i'm not sure if the english club president thinks i'm dumb or not but she always seems to be blown away by what i say to the members when my chaplain duties come about. it's like i take it as a compliment and insult because i appreciate her thinking that i did a good job but then it's like you're so amazed because you think that i'm not capable. i don't know if it makes sense to you but it makes perfectly good sense to me. maybe i'm over reacting. whatever the case may be, i still love all of them crazy ass people i call my peers. they make life so much easier- through the good times and the bad times.

genuinely honest
gkg

got dammit

it never ends. my life is too busy and my brakes don't work. i can't stop, even though i want to. things are moving way too fast for me and i'm struggling to catch up ya'll (literally and figuratively). street translation: a nigga need some muhfuckin' sleep got damn!

i've been so busy that i've haven't been eating like i should, and i think i've lost a few pounds when i actually don't have any to lose. i'm trying to eat healthy and all that other stuff, but i'm also trying to meet my soulful needs of fried chicken, macaroni and cheese and collard greens- too big for my jeans! throwback! them niggas said one monkey don't stop no show (LMAO) who the hell were they foolin- ain't that right nikki?!

and another thing, i haven't talked to my daddy in a couple of days. that nigga used to call me every day- i believe he got some money. my cousin told me that our family got this huge settlement when one of our relatives died in detroit and he left his entire estate to my dad and his siblings (he hasn't mentioned that to me though so i just sit back and see what happens). but she said that each of them are supposed to get like $30,000 and i know my dad was talking about paying for this escalade truck at the end of the year in cash. that's some shit to think about though right? his sneaky ass! i love that nigga though like i love my life!

thinking about how much fun i had chillin with my homeboys on saturday. my friend Q is crazy and i still can't believe he talked me into paying $35 to get into that damn club! it was cool though. and he let me get $20 cause your boy was only up for paying a max of $15. this ain't atlanta, this is macon. and i usually get in this damn club free so wtf! woosah, woosah! i'm getting angry black man syndrome again now and i was supposed to be talking about some good shit. you see how my mind is?! it's hard being me, i tell you! it's hard got dammit. lol. i need some sleep ya'll. i promise you i'm not crazy. are you not entertained?

i love ya'll. i really do.
stay black
stay true to yourself
2006...you know the slogan

peace and love
gkg

sleep (or lack thereof)

oh man- it's like 10:45 p.m. and i just woke up. although i appreciate this god given day i have to say that's it's truly been a long one. had a good time at the albany game- pictures coming as soon as i get them together (haven't hit ya'll with visuals in a while) and i went to the club and didn't get home until 3:15 a.m. but then your boy had to be at work this morning at 7:00 a.m, which is when i woke up. *smile* got to work at 7:45, wearing the same jeans i wore to the club and the same shirt i had on earlier yesterday, not really trying to impress but still looking up to par as usual (Kanye moment: arrongance- or maybe confidence); looked like myself nontheless. was supposed to get off of work at three, but this heart that god gave me is too big, i'm telling you. to make a long story short, they didn't have enough people so i ended up closing and getting off of work at 6:45 p.m. yeah, almost a 12 hour day.

came home and ate, took a shower, and took a two hour nap because i have so much work to do (so why is blogging the first thing that i decided to do?) wanted to take a break from the monotony before it really got started, and oh yeah- it was almost a riot yesterday. them damn rams want to start some shit in our gym?! WAIT A MINUTE BITCHES! you are in fort valley and we stick together. yeah, we love ya'll because ya'll are also beautiful black people, but we love our school more and we will put ya in ya place niggas!

this is how it all began- ASU basketball player threw a bow and it was about to be some fists thrown on the court. needless to say, we started our chant, "FORT VALLLLEEEYYYYY! FORT VALLLLEEEYYYYY!" and this girl from albany told a girl from da valley she needed to go somewhere else with that "bullshit" to which the girl replied, "bitch please, this is my gym and i will sit in your lap if i want to!" caused some comotion, which lead to fvsu wildcats chanting "YOU AIN'T SHIT- ALBANY STATE! YOU AIN'T SHIT- ALBANY STATE!" i know it sounds a bit elementary, but that shit was tight. i guess it was the hood in me coming out, no wait a minute- that was that damn wildcat pride! HBCU i tell you! and that's why my ass is tired now! no sleep cause i been reppin for my folks and trying to keep that green stuff in my pockets! it's all good. no such thing as "catching up on sleep" cause that hoe is like a rabbit and i'm like a turtle. i guess the turtle does kind of catch up with the rabbit in the end though. that damn rabbit gets tired after a while!

agenda: blog (complete), critical thinking work (next), read for capstone (don't know about that shit right thurr!), get a good night's rest (anticipating it like a mutha).

and oh yeah- the girls and boys won the game!
i'm a WILDCAT we bite- try to RAM us and you get your feelings hurt. that's wussup.

peace and love

Helping Blacks Create Unity

gkg

for lovers only...probably...probably not

i sit here and think of schemes; i think of things that will surprise others because my joy comes from making others happy, making them feel good. and i'm enjoying today for some reason. of course, we all know of the obvious reasons-lover's day- but my love is far away but i guess you could say it's in the air. but what's with the thought that valentine's day is for lovers only? i'm having flashbacks of high school when i sporadically would give my friends gifts, when i would give my mom gifts, buy my brothers shoes and shirts, and my dad cologne and watches- just random stuff. but they say it's for lovers only. i disagree. unless you would consider your family members your lovers also? hell naw! that's on some other shit and i only drink beer and liquor- ya feel me? so we'll say it's for the people that you love, people that mean a lot to you and keep it at that.

so i've been thinking about keeping this new journal full of the feelings that i have for my significant other, something that i would keep until the day we wed and only give it to her on our honeymoon. it would be full of stories and poetry inspired from things that we've done (good and bad stuff because if it was only the good it wouldn't be real). i think it's a good idea. a way to relive the past when age falls upon us. something to look into. like living precious moments all over again. but then maybe i'm just letting cupid get the best of me, or bring out the best, whatever the case may be. idea given. idea taken. it's a wrap. made up my mind, and it's on.

peace and LOVE
gkg

song of freedom

ushered for the play on wednesday, and all i can say is that i was truly blown away. it was so inspirational and it made me feel good to see that there were so many people on campus trying to do something positive. people who actually gave a damn about what's going on at fort valley- for real. people who don't just go to the game and yell "FORT VALLLLEEEEEYYYYYYYYY!" but people who make some action happen. and then this nigga, who already walked in late, had the nerve to come up in there with some mcdonald's. WHAT. THE. FUCK. nigga- if you don't take your country ass up out of this auditorium with that foolishness! come on black people. a time and a place, or did my grandma just teach me that? but back to what i was saying, the play was way more than i expected it to be. not saying that i had low expectations or anything, but sometimes when people re-create a picture of what took place after crossing the atlantic it can be a bit redundant. but it was on some real shit! a true blessing to have even been there. (and yeah, i just used shit and blessing in the same paragraph. no disrespect.) really showcased something special to kick off black history month.

i have a hectic reading schedule i'm trying to keep up with. reading "we real cool" by bell hooks right now. plan on reading autobio of malcolm x, sula, and nigger before the month is over. i know i probably won't get through all of them this month, but hey a brother can have something to look forward to.

peace and love. revolution can't be stopped.
gkg

hey mr. editor

i'm currently in the process of putting together two literary pieces. one i know will be great because i have someone else who is as dedicated as i am to bring it to existence. the other- whew! i'm asking my fellow classmates to help a brotha out with this one. all they have to do is send me some of their work (art work, poems, prose, essays, whatever) and i'll do the rest. AM I ASKING TOO MUCH FROM THESE BASTARDS! it's like everybody's waiting around for the deadline to hit so they can bombard me with their entries. shittin' me. i'm not up for that. and i've been sitting in the lab all day, wondering how this play is going to turn out that i'm supposed to be ushering for. i'm going to support my other english buddies. i know. a good friend aren't i?.

reality is hitting me also. as always, there is a helluva lot of work that i have to complete tonight. i've made it my mission to catch up today. going to put on my T.I. cd and just read, write, and do my work while washing the three loads of clothes that i've accumulated in five days. it sounds like a lot but it's not more than i can manage. multi-tasking should be my minor, or second major, whichever makes me sound more intelligent.

just started a new book. the other was, shall i say very interesting. i'm looking forward to reading this one though. was recommended by a good friend and if it's anything like her i know it'll be quite surprising. wondering where my girlfriend is and if those people are working her hard up in atlanta. it's hard to control this mind of mine i tell you!

from the yard...work and a lot of progress needed.
englishear...in the works
greg's sanity...work and a lot of progress needed.
cussing nigga's out... in the works!

peace and love
gkg

nigga-itis

i just left this new fish place next to the dairy queen and i have to admit it was really nice. at first i was skeptical because i thought it was one of our (black people) joints, but i walked up in there and there were koreans cooking fish. come on now. i'm not saying their not good at what they do because, after all, they do hook up my friends' nails and feet like no other, but i just had a culture shock or some shit...i dunno. nevertheless the food was good and now my nigga-itis is kicking in. oh yeah, a brotha is ready to kick back and take a nap and it's only 3:30. i've been sitting here in the win lab and somebody needs to hire a dj in this piece or something. i'm telling you. if you don't have anything to do it's like watching paint dry!

but i do have some more work to do so i guess i'll be alright. plus a brotha is up out of this piece at four o'clock. i have to meet with pops after school because my headlight went out in the lex. ain't that a bitch!? my dad said you have to treat your car like you treat your lady. when she knows you have some money, she'll act up until you spend a little on her. i guess now is my time to shell out a couple of dollars on baby blue. anyway, i digress. i leave all that other deep stuff to all of you.

until next time...
gkg

above the surface

wussup my people? this sick-ness is really getting to me and i'm feeling really bad today, kind of like the weather. i want to be sunny but i can't help but to be cloudy and let the rain fall down. i'm just trying to stay above the surface for now. like many others, the weather has fooled me and given me something that's contagious. i started to stay home today, but i would've probably gone insane because there would've been nothing to do and i probably would've stayed in bed all day and drank that green tea i bought last night(thanks for the remedy craddock).

as far as school, everything's well. this englishear is a work in progress but nevertheless it's coming along better than i imagined. it's good when a bunch of smart people get together and do something creative, especially here in the valley. there's so much talent down here, and a lot of people don't even know this place exists. madness, i tell you, just madness!

but i won't hold you for long today. time for me to take a dose of this robitussin.

until next time...
gkg

sick-ness

i'm feeling really bad today. like somebody took a bat and went upside my head and left me to deal with the headache. bought me some medicine, but i'm trying not to overdose, so i've been keeping track of those "every four hours" they tell you about on the packet. the headache's not so bad though because people always make my head hurt when i listen to their foolish antics, but my throat is killing me. it's like something is stuck down in my esophagus somewhere, but i got something for that when i get home. some alcoholic remedies my dad passed along to me. it'll be all good.

pops is supposed to change my oil today. i wore my good clothes so i wouldn't have to do much. i told him i was sick so you'd think this nigga would let me sick back and relax, but not my dad. he'll probably have some extra pants and shirt or some shit for me when i get down to his place. he's figured me out pretty well. i love that guy. my inspiration. that's why i have so much respect for my younger brothers. they lost their dad last year and they've managed to keep themselves together. i don't know how i would react to that type of situation because my dad and i are so close. i would say that we are closer than me and my mom are, and people say that's unusual all of the time but i'm supposed to model myself after a good man, not a good woman- right? lol. then again, i guess i take some qualities from both of them.

i'm a pretty sensitive guy when it comes to my personal relationships. i don't have a problem crying or expressing how i feel. i know for a fact that i inherited this characteristic from my mom. she's outspoken and will tell you how she feels in the blink of an eye. now my dad is a more complicated guy. when he's angry, he won't say anything and he likes to be by himself sometimes to get things in his life in order. i do this also, and i think that the combination of my inheritances make me a complex person. i'm not that hard to understand though. i'm just me. that's all to it. i'm not a thug, i'm not a damn rapper, and i'm not stupid. i dress the way i do because i'm grown and i buy my own shit, i write poetry because i like it, and yes i do love rap music, and i love reading and all that other type of stuff. maybe i'm different. maybe not. you be the judge.

one luv
gkg