untitled...just me

still on this poetry thing...just won't die out. and i'm happy because i've been trying to get some words down on paper for a while. guess it's starting to come back to me. wrote this poem on december 4th when i was going through a lot of stuff with my brother and some kids in school...trying to save some young souls. it's untitled...so if you have a suggestion shoot me a holla.

rev. look like a pimp
and the pimp looks like the reverend
telling me to pray at night
so i can go to heaven
feeling like i've played out
all of my lucky seven
and i think life loves me
but she's throwing me to the bears when
my brother's trying to leave school
and leave all of those necessities
living in the streets will
only exhaust all possibilities
that shit will only let me down
and i thought he was a friend to me
trying to be something else
case of mistaken identity

not respecting mom
sending her through tribulations and trials
making her sick
blood pressure been up there for a while
this child

who has the same blood's
making life so hard
got me praying overtime
screaming "lord oh lord"
will you please forgive me
and these other men of our sins
knowing deep down that
we'll probably do it again

and my soul
wants to be exonerated of all charges
i know i learn the most
when obstacles become the hardest
and the clouds are coming over
blocking the sun it's becoming the darkest
time of my life
and this car- i wanna park it.

everybody wants to jump in
and get a ride to the right road
putting my needs on the back burner
trying to help their souls
young black men who are
unfamiliar with the struggle life holds
don't want them to learn the hard way
but truth be told...

i care about their lives
more than they care about themselves
and their memoirs are overdue
i'm about to put them back on the shelves
they constantly complain
that their lives are living hells
and i'm wondering how giving up
will ever help them prevail.

taking on so much and i don't
know what to do
because these kids are in need of my services
but i need me too
am i being selfish or keeping myself
from turning black and blue?
wondering how a man as young as me
can continue to walk in these shoes

turned to the church
and found myself prejudging the pastor
messing with little kids
instead of fixing this disaster
wonder where God wants me to turn
because the problems continue to fester
turned away from the church
that was filled with hypocrits and molesters
tears rolling down my face
wondering will this last forever
tears rolling down my face
wondering will this last forever...

cause the rev. look like a pimp
and the pimp looks like a reverend
and i keep wondering...
will i ever make it to heaven?