i'm finally done with classes

and i don't feel any different. maybe that's the purpose of graduation...duh...to let you know, "hey dipshit, you've made it a couple of years and we're tired of seeing your black ass." *smile* but i'm ready to leave ya'll. sometimes i am and sometimes i'm not. i think about all that i'll be leaving behind, different friends and family and the other things i've come to appreciate. i think that out of four years here at fort valley state, i've only received a good year and 1/2 worth of schooling, and that's partially my fault and the professors' as well. when i changed my major to english i began to see a whole new light, and believe me i'm gonna let it shine. listen to me, i sound like somebody's easter speech. lol. silly.

been working overnight and that shit is nothing to play with. the hours go by fast, but it's like you miss the entire day and before you know it, it's time to go to muhfuckin' sam's club again. it's a trip. i'm currently listening to mix cd's, and erykah badu's mama's gun, and outkast's aquemini. jammin' like a mofo. and nikki, i'll give you stankonia back next week. i know they say nigga's always get shit and don't give it back, so i'll put that cd in my car. but if i would've had that mofo for two more weeks...lol. i'm trippin'.

i'm running out of shit to say. so, until next time...

gkg

blogthings

i was messing around on blogthings.com and found out a lot about myself. it's so weird. and it was funny when i did the "what age do you act?" quiz and it came up with 22 years old. that's right, i act my age got dammit!! lol. but here are a few more that i came across:

You Are Corona

You don't drink for the love of beer. You drink to get drunk. You prefer a very light, very smooth beer. A beer that's hardly a beer at all. And while you make not like the taste of beer, you like the feeling of being drunk. You drink early and often. Sometimes with friends. Sometimes alone. All the party needs is you!

What's Your Beer Personality?

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You give and take equally in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

You Were a Snake

You have a primal energy that drives you to explore the mysteries of life. A nearly immortal soul, you'll live a very long life.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

Your Life Path Number is 5

Your purpose in life is to life freely and collect experiences. You love life - new adventures, new people, new ideas. You are very curious, and you crave novelty in all forms. You tend to make friends easily, and you enjoy the company of all types of people. In love, you are fun and even a bit intoxicating. But you won't stick around for long. You are impulsive and spontaneous - which sometimes leads you to do things you regret. Sometimes you can be overindulgent with food, sex, or drugs. You have many talents, so many that you are often scattered and unfocused.

What Is Your Life Path Number?

You Are Rain

You can be warm and sexy. Or cold and unwelcoming. Either way, you slowly bring out the beauty around you. You are best known for: your touch Your dominant state: changing

What Type of Weather Are You?

now keep in mind that i'm an artist...

...and i'm sensitive about my shit. wrote this for the cousin. starting to piss me off about this money situation.

because of you

you're second
to myself
and everyone else

because previous times
have given me a lesson
that i finally embraced
and kissed
because my life was saved

you didn't feel the same way
or find your obligations
to be parallel
to those of mine.
left on the railroad
with ropes around my body
and straw hanging
out of my mouth

because you were before me,
part of my #1 priority-
the driving force
of what i had.
even put my id
in the backseat
without any restraints
or anything to protect it,
causing so much hurt and pain

trials
and
tribulations
that will never emerge again
thank you
for chewing up my
generous personality
and swallowing all of the sugar
and throwing it on the ground
without the aluminum wrapper
from which it was originally removed

because those times
gave me a lesson
that i finally embraced
and kissed
because my life was saved

and today
others must suffer
because of the knife
that you have left
etched in my heart
pulling what we once had.
totally apart-
two magnets pushed together;
that's my attitude
toward you
and you made it that way
because i don't want
to be close
to you
or anyone who associates
with someone
who takes advantage of others
close to those who are
insensitive
to other people's needs
loading freely
without any guilt
or shame
or sorrow
FREE LOADER
but i don't hate you.
i love you still

because you
gave me a lesson
that i finally embraced
and kissed
and my life has been saved.

i'm feeling

content. not really worried about the pressures that life has to offer me because i really should be used to that by now, if there ever were such a skeleton. listening to this music and escaping which is probably where i'm at...not on earth...somewhere in the spirits praying for all of those around me who just don't understand certain aspects of life. but it's love...all love.

trying to change so many of the things that have been holding me back. "that nigga greg is always late!" *smile* yeah, i am. not on purpose, but it'd started to carry on into my professional space, so i've really been working on it- really. under-estimations, not a fashionable entrace that i was trying to make or anything like that. it'll change. life changes- constantly, so it's no surprise.

dad's back where he's supposed to be. and i can tell he's happy. a great man, but has a weakness that most men have. can control everything else but a pretty face and a smile can get his attention within the blink of an eye, and like i'm working on my timing problem, he's working on this kryptonite of his also. feels good, real good. i've seen it too much, and i see the light shining now. a beautiful light. let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

one love
g

i been thinking a lot

thinking about my life and the direction that it's headed in, and honestly i can say that i'm afraid. not so much afraid for myself but afraid for others. i've been seeing a lot of people from my past; people that i went to school with, people that i used to be great friends with, family members, etc., etc., and i'm realizing that i've left a lot of them behind...on purpose. i went out to eat with my peeps after the senior presentations on tuesday and somehow we had a conversation about how people outgrow others, not in a physical sense, but a mental sense. i've done this with a lot of people, even some important people. am i supposed to feel bad because they can't keep up with the process that i'm going through or should they step their game up and catch up? sometimes i don't know how to feel about it. confuses me at times, the cause of so much frustration, which i don't need in my life.

was in mickey d's today with jarvis and nikki. didn't have any money so they covered for a brotha. real friends- we look out for one another, more than people in my own family do, which is why i've made up my mind not to send out invitations to my graduation. well, i'll probably send out a few, but it'll be just that...only a few... don't want people who don't really want to be there to feel obligated to pay me their respects when they really haven't been there for me during these four years of hard work.

i was eating my fish sandwich looking out the window, in my own world, and nik asked me, "what's on your mind greg?" i didn't say anything though. was just like, "oh, nothing, i'm just trippin'." some things i keep to myself. been like that for a long time and i really don't think that's a good thing. causes me to hurt sometimes, but i'm getting better at it- aren't i viness?

two of my friends crossed last night. i'm proud of them. now i don't have to sneak and take them food in the middle of the day. their off of "social probation" as someone called it. lol. that's funny. i remember those days man. but i don't even have any letters... how can that be you ask yourself? keep asking. we aren't catholic and i'm not usher and these aren't my confessions so you figure it out.

i've been taking my writing for granted, really i have. this blog and 1895underground and my journals and books of poetry help me escape sometimes. i talked to one of my friends yesterday and he seemed like he was really down. said he wasn't sad, but also said he wasn't happy. a fucked up way to feel if you ask me. confused about your own situation and the world around you. sometimes you have to take your world into your own hands and write your own destiny if the one you have is fucked up. and that's real talk.

23 days until i'm free...if that's what you want to call it.

peace and love
gkg

p.s. this old white lady ran into me and nikki at wal-mart. had on some glasses and shades over them. didn't have her insurance card. did she get a ticket? what do you think? didn't i tell you she was an old white lady! reverse those roles...and we would've been paying some tickets! that's the shit i be talking about.

enjoying life again

because for the most part capstone is a burden of the past. now i can look forward to bigger and better things, chill with my friends if i feel like it, call my girl and not feel like i have to rush off of the phone because "i gotta finish this shit tonight," or have a night out on the town with the fellas. i still have to keep in mind that i have a lot of work to do before april 28th hits the fan, but honestly i think i'll complete everything next week at the latest.

the shower is calling my name and my roommate is snoring. good to see that she's sleeping well. can't wait until i enter that meditative state and dream a great dream. the one i was having last night appeared to be rather nice. i don't know how i can tell because i can't remember it for shit, but i do remember my dad calling me at 4:30 this morning and waking me up...and i just couldn't go back to sleep after that, which is probably why i'm so tired now. at least my bro ironed my clothes for tomorrow. one less thing i have to do tomorrow.

gonna dip out now. gotta wash the bod and i have to get me a bag of popcorn so i can sit back, relax and watch my comrades present tomorrow. good luck. god bless. one love.

the gregster
2006...

p.s. and my cousin that owes me $200+ won't return my phone calls. it's all good though. gonna be reapin what she's sowin' after a while. and by the looks of it, that ain't much!

sitting in the lab

and it's not like i'm really doing shit- just in here right now watching the day go by. i was supposed to be doing something productive, i.e. working on my respondent paper for capstone or maybe my paper on jamaica kincaid (english major for those of you who didn't know) but instead i chose to sit up in here and create a page on MY SPACE, which was kind of a nice break if you ask me. my senior presentation is thurday and i'm ready get that shit out of the way. i go first, no like really first- the first mofo to step up in there and be like, "okay bitches, this is what i did, now ask me a few dumb ass questions so i can sit the fuck down and watch everybody else." it's all good though. you know how i am...maybe not.

been reading my black enterprise magazines lately (didn't have time to read last month's with all the work i had to do) but they've been really interesting. especially with me trying to line up a job after graduation and get a house and truck etc. etc. but i gotta get all of my shit together. been trying to perfect my five year plan so that things will work out and my money and life will be together when i hit 27. gotta get some shit together because there's a possibility that there'll be some lil greg jr.'s running around this bitch...well not running around because i'm gonna be whipping some ass (that timeout shit ain't for me- sitting in the corner never did anything for me as a kid but piss me off, but a belt to that ass got me straight!!!).

i'm looking for a designated driver for may 6th. if you're interested, please post your application in my comment box!!

peace and love
greggy