i been thinking a lot
thinking about my life and the direction that it's headed in, and honestly i can say that i'm afraid. not so much afraid for myself but afraid for others. i've been seeing a lot of people from my past; people that i went to school with, people that i used to be great friends with, family members, etc., etc., and i'm realizing that i've left a lot of them behind...on purpose. i went out to eat with my peeps after the senior presentations on tuesday and somehow we had a conversation about how people outgrow others, not in a physical sense, but a mental sense. i've done this with a lot of people, even some important people. am i supposed to feel bad because they can't keep up with the process that i'm going through or should they step their game up and catch up? sometimes i don't know how to feel about it. confuses me at times, the cause of so much frustration, which i don't need in my life.
was in mickey d's today with jarvis and nikki. didn't have any money so they covered for a brotha. real friends- we look out for one another, more than people in my own family do, which is why i've made up my mind not to send out invitations to my graduation. well, i'll probably send out a few, but it'll be just that...only a few... don't want people who don't really want to be there to feel obligated to pay me their respects when they really haven't been there for me during these four years of hard work.
i was eating my fish sandwich looking out the window, in my own world, and nik asked me, "what's on your mind greg?" i didn't say anything though. was just like, "oh, nothing, i'm just trippin'." some things i keep to myself. been like that for a long time and i really don't think that's a good thing. causes me to hurt sometimes, but i'm getting better at it- aren't i viness?
two of my friends crossed last night. i'm proud of them. now i don't have to sneak and take them food in the middle of the day. their off of "social probation" as someone called it. lol. that's funny. i remember those days man. but i don't even have any letters... how can that be you ask yourself? keep asking. we aren't catholic and i'm not usher and these aren't my confessions so you figure it out.
i've been taking my writing for granted, really i have. this blog and 1895underground and my journals and books of poetry help me escape sometimes. i talked to one of my friends yesterday and he seemed like he was really down. said he wasn't sad, but also said he wasn't happy. a fucked up way to feel if you ask me. confused about your own situation and the world around you. sometimes you have to take your world into your own hands and write your own destiny if the one you have is fucked up. and that's real talk.
23 days until i'm free...if that's what you want to call it.
peace and love
gkg
p.s. this old white lady ran into me and nikki at wal-mart. had on some glasses and shades over them. didn't have her insurance card. did she get a ticket? what do you think? didn't i tell you she was an old white lady! reverse those roles...and we would've been paying some tickets! that's the shit i be talking about.
was in mickey d's today with jarvis and nikki. didn't have any money so they covered for a brotha. real friends- we look out for one another, more than people in my own family do, which is why i've made up my mind not to send out invitations to my graduation. well, i'll probably send out a few, but it'll be just that...only a few... don't want people who don't really want to be there to feel obligated to pay me their respects when they really haven't been there for me during these four years of hard work.
i was eating my fish sandwich looking out the window, in my own world, and nik asked me, "what's on your mind greg?" i didn't say anything though. was just like, "oh, nothing, i'm just trippin'." some things i keep to myself. been like that for a long time and i really don't think that's a good thing. causes me to hurt sometimes, but i'm getting better at it- aren't i viness?
two of my friends crossed last night. i'm proud of them. now i don't have to sneak and take them food in the middle of the day. their off of "social probation" as someone called it. lol. that's funny. i remember those days man. but i don't even have any letters... how can that be you ask yourself? keep asking. we aren't catholic and i'm not usher and these aren't my confessions so you figure it out.
i've been taking my writing for granted, really i have. this blog and 1895underground and my journals and books of poetry help me escape sometimes. i talked to one of my friends yesterday and he seemed like he was really down. said he wasn't sad, but also said he wasn't happy. a fucked up way to feel if you ask me. confused about your own situation and the world around you. sometimes you have to take your world into your own hands and write your own destiny if the one you have is fucked up. and that's real talk.
23 days until i'm free...if that's what you want to call it.
peace and love
gkg
p.s. this old white lady ran into me and nikki at wal-mart. had on some glasses and shades over them. didn't have her insurance card. did she get a ticket? what do you think? didn't i tell you she was an old white lady! reverse those roles...and we would've been paying some tickets! that's the shit i be talking about.
posted by Greg at 3:01 PM
1 Comments:
copycattin ass light skinned negra.... i kid i kid... greg. it's good to see that i'm not the only one with these type isshers in my dome piece. i think people get left behind because they aren't right for us ya dig? **side note... i'm in the library and this keyboard is disgursting!!! that is so fucking sad** and i think it's funny how we're thinking about how we're leaving people behind as we get ready to leave this school behind. not so much behind because we will be back for whatever reason, but we're turning a page in a damn good book called life. one thing i have learned in the past few days is that every person, every experience we have is just another word on a page in your book. it's a part in the parcel so to speak, adds character, but does not make you who you are. feel the fear and move anyway greg. take time to stare out the winder at mikedonders eating what we think is a fish sammich. this is a part of that new shit we were talking about. that feeling we got in the beginning of the year. we have to have this purging and reflection because once the real shit starts, the bullshit will no longer have an audience with us. i hope this makes sense cause i'm hungry and you know how i do when i'm hungry...and about you not tellin me what was on your mind.... that'll come too
Post a Comment
<< Home